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Rowan Mangan

Writer. Mom. Wild Inventurer.

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Morning Self and the Storyteller

May 12, 2022 Leave a Comment

I edge into the beginning of my days very carefully, like someone in a movie trying to demonstrate calm in a hostage situation. Look, I’m putting my gun down here. Look, you can see my hands. I’m moving slowly. I’m talking softly. See? Eeeeverything’s okay, buddy. We’re all friends here.

Because I’m anxious and an insomniac, mornings have always been hard for me. First thing in the morning I’m like a baby animal: whimpering, puffy and afraid.

 

My before-bed self, on the other hand, is all over it. That chick has her shit together. She’s got the coffee machine programmed for the morning, she’s put the robe and the socks near the bed for her bleary-eyed morning counterpart.

See, Morning Self has to be carefully managed. Especially because she has a very important job.

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My life has evolved so that Morning Self is on duty when I write. She has to be, because her shift coincides with literally the only time in the day I can devote to writing.

This brings me to the chair, a key component in managing Morning Self. See, when Morning Self goes down to get that pre-brewed coffee, she tells herself that when she comes back up she’ll crawl back into bed. But when she walks back into the room, she spots the chair.

 

I have a big gray rocking chair next to the bed. It faces the window, looking out onto a forest vista that’s getting greener and lovelier by the day. The chair is so soft and comfy and friendly that even Morning Self can’t be intimidated by it. This means that once coffee has been obtained, it’s not hard to reroute the back-to-bed plan and be enticed toward the chair… where the laptop is waiting.

See? It works. I start with something easy: my morning pages ritual, which moves me into language again.

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And here’s where the magic comes in. Rocking gently on my gray chair, I ease into the place where I can wield the words, but where I’m not yet reunited with the logistical perspective and terrestrial priorities of Before-Bed Self.

Somewhere between fully asleep and fully awake is where my Storyteller lives.

I think this is why I cherish this time so much, and why I manage Morning Self so gently. Because for all her pathos and puffiness, Morning Self has access to treasures that begin slip through my fingers as I delve further into the day.

So I edge carefully into the day, with the help of this big gray rocking chair and some really shit-hot organic single-source coffee. And with the bleary half-dreams that I carry with me between the worlds and offer up to the keyboard.

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WE DID A HARD THING! Marty and I got to speak to WE DID A HARD THING!

Marty and I got to speak to the magnificent @abbywambach and @glennondoyle recently about our “deeply satisfying domestic arrangement.”

Even though it was a little scary, we had a blast—so much laughing and love and truth-speaking. Such truly lovely peeps.

Feeling very grateful for all the supportive and encouraging messages we’ve been getting since the episode aired. Y’all are gorgeous. 

I popped the link to the episode in my bio.
Excited to catch up with my cousin @drewk81 tonigh Excited to catch up with my cousin @drewk81 tonight. It’s been over 20 years since this photo was taken, and in that time we’ve really cheered up. #grunge #coffee #family #angst
On this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, listen On this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, listener Bryony is trying to explore her/their identity beyond the binaries of gender and sexuality. As Martha reminded me, I’ve got the perfect litmus test for anyone trying to determine whether or not they are lesbian. Google the song “Arrow” by Cheryl Wheeler, give it a listen, and by the end of it, you’ll know! (This is just math, people.) 

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You can listen to the full episode on our website, link in the bio, or on your favorite podcast app.

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There’s a sort of undefined time when you're bec There’s a sort of undefined time when you're becoming a new version of yourself, but you're not there yet and don't quite know what's happening. As Martha points out, there's no set of concepts or even words in our culture to describe that period that exists between the letting go of the old self and becoming the new self. Our culture doesn’t have a name for it because it doesn’t ever want to acknowledge that we, like nature, are always changing. Rowan calls this undefined time “the space for dreaming,” and in this episode she and Martha explore the beauty and delight to be found there. Be sure to check it out!

You can listen to the full episode on our website, link in the bio, or on your favorite podcast app.

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I’m having a flare-up of chronic illness today, I’m having a flare-up of chronic illness today, so this picture shows me trying to WFB (“work from bed”) on my Wild Inventures newsletter. Hilariously, @themarthabeck captured in this photo the fact that I have by my side a copy of “Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity.” 

Because when you’re stuck in bed, you really need to be reading about intense productivity, right? 

I crack myself up.

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Oh, and no, I didn’t read a lot of the book today.
Do you want to write a memoir? This is my mum, Pa Do you want to write a memoir?

This is my mum, Paula Keogh. She’s a Memoir Coach, and as of RIGHT NOW she finally has a few places open for new clients. 

Her work meets clients where they are, whether it’s the beginning of the process where they need to talk through their project, or further along where they need more detailed advice on the craft of storytelling. 

Paula has a PhD in creative writing. Her memoir, The Green Bell, was critically acclaimed and shortlisted for prestigious literary awards.
She knows what she's talking about.

A previous client said: “[Paula] was my sounding board, she kept me on track and accountable for my work… she’s warm and encouraging and incredibly smart. If you’re like me and want to (finally) write your memoir, she will get you there.”

Another said: “Working with Paula was an absolute gift. I found her at a time when I didn't have the courage to keep going, where I felt absolutely lost. Through her guidance, I was able to develop the characters in my memoir, identify the most important themes in each chapter, and develop my narrator's voice. She also encouraged me to dive deeper, to look at the psychological and spiritual elements of the story. ”

If you’re interested in chatting with Paula to see if you’re a good fit, she offers free introductory calls. 

Go to her website (linked in my bio) to find out more and book a session. Or, if you’re really keen, you can DM me for her email address.
It's Throwback Thursday o'clock!⁠ ⁠ As regular It's Throwback Thursday o'clock!⁠
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As regular readers might remember, I’m revisiting writing my first draft of Goat Street on the wild western coast of Ireland back in 2015. Every night after I finished writing, I published a short post about the day’s happenings. These Throwback Thursday posts are the historical record of that time. 😉⁠
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👇 👇 👇⁠
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Day 7⁠
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TALLY⁠
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No one has eaten any of our lambs, as far as I can tell. ⁠
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Paula is learning everything about 19th century female astronomers and observing flying fish in the wild (not to mention enduring me!). ⁠
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Meanwhile, I'm arse-deep in hypothetical genealogical research, and if if wasn't for my brilliant and generous helper, Catherine O'Connell, I'd be ready to throw this book into the Atlantic.⁠
Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the Martha and Rowan are taking a brief break, but the podcast is still here for you! This week we have another "Best of Bewildered" episode for you to enjoy.

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RUSTLINGS In the past week, something interesting RUSTLINGS

In the past week, something interesting started happening. I felt it as a kind of rustling within, as if something small and tentative was starting to move around. I couldn’t see it yet, but I could hear it. 

A new story.

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The rustling of a new creative project is the topic of my Wild Inventures newsletter next week. If you haven’t subscribed and want to chat about creativity, subscribe via the link in my bio! xx
Loving this huddle! Happy birthday, Brooke! Loving this huddle! Happy birthday, Brooke!
I'm making video! So excited to be expanding wha I'm making video! 

So excited to be expanding what I do over at my Substack newsletter community. In addition to the regular weekly newsletter for all subscribers, I'm now also posting an audio AND video version of each essay for paid subscribers. Inevitably, these involve some chatter and editorializing and a little silliness. Please come join the community if you like Wild Inventures of any kind. Link in my bio. x

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Throwback Thursday is extra escapist this week. Throwback Thursday is extra escapist this week. 

As regular readers might remember, I’m revisiting the writing of my first draft of Goat Street on the wild western coast of Ireland back in 2015. Every night after I finished writing, I published a short post about the day’s happenings. These Throwback Thursday posts are the historical record of that time. 😉

👇 👇 👇

April 16, 2015
Day 6: Word count 3053

Writing was a slog, but I got in a gorgeous walk this afternoon. It's the furthest I've gone so far, up and over the mountain. (It might be a hill.) 

The standing stone at the top can be seen from our place, looking like a toothpick. I wonder how I can find out what the ancient Ogham script on the stone means... maybe "watch your step". 

The ocean is the colour of the goddamn Caribbean today. WTF?
It's been a time, friends. I've written about it It's been a time, friends. 

I've written about it in an essay that will be sent to all my Wild Inventures subscribers tomorrow. The piece is called "A Radical Heart."

You can sign up for my newsletter by following the link in my bio to the Substack newsletter community.
Words fail me. So I go back to the source. Words fail me. So I go back to the source.
For Throwback Thursday, I’m off down memory lane For Throwback Thursday, I’m off down memory lane for the writing of my first draft of Goat Street seven years ago. I took myself (and my mum!) on an intensive writing retreat and finished the draft in 30 days. (The rewrites took *just* a little longer.)⁠
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Every night after finishing writing, I published a short post about the day’s happenings. These ended up becoming a fun record of the process. ⁠
👇 👇 👇 👇 👇 
Day 4
2794 words.
Thanks for your encouragement to continue this! You may live to regret it.
Today was: 
- baking brown bread (my first loaf!)
- islands of sunlight on the sea
- new four-legged friends
- trying to write about the magic and mayhem of a trad session at an Irish pub

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