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Rowan Mangan

Writer. Mom. Wild Inventurer.

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Pandemic babies, lockdown life

August 16, 2021 1 Comment

In some new parent spaces I visit online, I often hear some version of “OH NO! My pandemic baby has had an unnatural life in lockdown! He’s going to be socially stunted!”

It’s easy to get hooked by big fears like this, especially when you’re new to the parenting gig. So I spent some time thinking about it. I thought about how my own anxiety has been at an all-time low since the lockdown that began early in my pregnancy.

I thought about all the daily stresses that Lila has never experienced: the inevitable fraying of nerves that comes with tight schedules, with rushing in and out of the house, with the clashing of human energies that accompanies a life steeped in society.

And I thought about this cultural idea that we have to be exposed to discomfort so that we’re better at tolerating discomfort. Which, when you come right down to it, is a pretty whack idea.

I spent decades pushing myself into highly stimulating environments, believing that it was somehow “correct human behavior.” I thought that my hatred of it reflected poorly on my ability to be human—rather than exposing some core incompatibility.

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE the human world. Like the saying goes, it’s a great place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there. The past 18 months has given me my first-ever taste of the complete opt-out. And I found it tasty indeed.

The pandemic has delivered its own heartbreaks to our household, of course, and I don’t want to romanticize this crisis. Lockdown itself is a lonely and desperate experience for many. But the fact is that it’s brought a sweet layer of peace into our home.

Over these months and months, the five of us have knitted our individual energies into a delicate lacework that lets us move among each other with harmony. It decorates our rituals and the maps of our days, together and apart.

A year of peace. Such an elusive experience in a 21st century life. And for Lila, I can only feel that if it stunts her development in some way, maybe that’s not a necessary development. We can teach her noise and movement later. For now I’m happy teaching her the gentle language of shifting afternoon sunlight.

This article originally appeared on Rowan’s Wild Inventures substack newsletter. To subscribe and get all Rowan’s posts in your inbox, head over to Wild Inventures on substack now. 

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  1. Elizabeth Thompson says

    September 22, 2021 at 9:26 pm

    Beautiful! I’m so glad that your gorgeous Forest Elf has been born into this peace that you’ve created together.

    Reply

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One of the best nights I’ve ever had. My body is One of the best nights I’ve ever had. My body is sore from all the bopping. I feel like so many angsty past versions of myself got to come out and ROCK tonight—and so did my very happy current self on date night with my wife. BASKING. Thank you @anidifranco, and happy birthday!
@themarthabeck @lprnyc #anidifranco #righteousbaberecords
Have you ever tried The “No” Test? Bestselling Have you ever tried The “No” Test? Bestselling author Elizabeth Gilbert has, and she tells Martha and Rowan all about it on this episode of Bewildered. The No Test is a way of gauging someone’s reaction when you set a boundary. If the person reacts negatively in any way or pushes back against your “no”—well, that's a bright red flag in the relationship. To find out what happened when Liz tried out The No Test, and the changes she made in her life as a result, be sure to catch the full episode. 

@bewilderedpodcast
@themarthabeck
Current configuration of our ever-wacky, ever-chan Current configuration of our ever-wacky, ever-changing, ever-bewildered household. Ultimate village living. 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶
“What am I serving?” That’s the question to “What am I serving?”

That’s the question to ask yourself, Martha says, when you want to tell the difference between what you’re being pushed to do by the culture, and what you’re being pulled to do by your true nature.

Rowan adds that there are little corners of our personality that are being served all the time, often by mundane work—but “just because it’s not sexy doesn’t mean it’s culture.”

Join Martha and Ro for this episode of Bewildered where they explore the differences between culture and nature when it comes to hard work, and how you can find strength in the struggle.

You can listen to Episode 60: Wild Horses, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck
@bewilderedpodcast
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #meaningfullife #honeybadger #wayfinderdreams #changecycle #lifecoach #lifecoachtraining #soulawakening #waystationdreams #boydvarty #liontrackersguidetolife #londolozi #spiritualawakening #ifs #ifstherapy
There are many things that are extremely difficult There are many things that are extremely difficult that we just feel driven to do, like raising a family or pursuing a dream.

“In the service of a dream,” Rowan says, “there is hard work that is going to be part of that journey. And yet, even though the work itself isn't enjoyable, it's still our nature to pursue it.”

Join Martha and Ro for this episode of Bewildered, where they’re talking about the place in our true nature for dogged, determined work—even when it's not fun—and why the struggle is always worth it.

You can listen to Episode 60: Wild Horses, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck
@bewilderedpodcast
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #meaningfullife #honeybadger #wayfinderdreams #changecycle #lifecoach #lifecoachtraining #soulawakening #waystationdreams #boydvarty #liontrackersguidetolife #londolozi #spiritualawakening #ifs #ifstherapy
New spot, same smile ✨✨✨ @themarthabeck New spot, same smile ✨✨✨ @themarthabeck
Have you ever played with one of those cartoon fli Have you ever played with one of those cartoon flipbooks, where you thumb through the pages and the drawing seems to move?

Rowan says that because we're trapped in physical bodies, we experience the flow of change like a flipbook—in incremental progressions that have a jerky, stop-and-start quality of movement

However, that staccato effect is just an illusion because we haven't got a great perspective on what's happening, which in reality is just beautiful, constant flow. 

Tune in for this episode of BEWILDERED® to hear Martha and Ro talk about adjusting your perspective, letting go, and allowing yourself to move with the flow of change.

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app. 

@bewilderedpodcast
@themarthabeck
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #strangerthings #australia #koala #wombats #enidblyton #entrepreneur #africa #londolozi #vanlife #costarica #dream #dreambig #waystation
Lil punkin Lil punkin
Why would you be given a dream if you aren’t sup Why would you be given a dream if you aren’t supposed to realize it?

This is a question Martha and Ro are exploring in this episode of BEWILDERED®, Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations.

They compare pursuing your big, life-changing “way station dreams” to playing a video game with many levels—there’s always a bit of fear and you’re always going to have to defeat the “big boss” of the game, which is culture. Figuring it out is the fun part.

As Ro says, “You don't always have to spend something to make a way station dream come true, but you do always, always have to risk something—that's being wild.”

Tune in for the full conversation to learn how to overcome cultural obstacles and bravely pursue your wildest dreams. (Spoiler alert: The risk is worth it!)

You can listen to Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck 
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #strangerthings #australia #koala #wombats #enidblyton #entrepreneur #africa #londolozi #vanlife #costarica #dream #dreambig #waystation
Have you ever looked back at all the big points, o Have you ever looked back at all the big points, or way stations, along your life’s journey and how they led you to where you are today?

It’s a fascinating exercise, and Martha and Ro are diving into it in this episode of BEWILDERED®, Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations.

Martha notes how her life arc took her out of academia, on to business school, to eventually running her own business, to developing a passion for going to Africa, to meeting Rowan there, to having their daughter Lila.

As Rowan jokes, “You taught business school in your 20s because we were going to have a baby to complain about in your 60s.”

Join them for this fun and fascinating episode to explore the idea of way station dreams and how you can recognize the ones that are waiting for you.

You can listen to Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck
@bewilderedpodcast 
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #strangerthings #australia #koala #wombats #enidblyton #entrepreneur #africa #londolozi #vanlife #costarica #dream #dreambig #waystation
Martha says life is like a game of “you're getti Martha says life is like a game of “you're getting warmer, you're getting colder.” There are dreams that are red hot that pull you toward them, and these become way stations along the journey of your life.

In this episode of BEWILDERED®, Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, Martha and Ro explore the idea of way station dreams and how to pursue them despite the huge resistance you’ll get from the culture—which always tries to dash the dreams of the individual.

As Martha says, “Moving from one important way station to another is basically writing the story of your life, so don't let anyone else make that map for you.”

To find out more about how to overcome cultural pressures to plot your own course, be sure to tune in for the full conversation.

You can listen to Episode 58: Dream Dashers and Way Stations, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck 
@bewilderedpodcast 
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #strangerthings #australia #koala #wombats #enidblyton #entrepreneur #africa #londolozi #vanlife #costarica #dream #dreambig #waystation
Our culture wants us to segment our deep creativit Our culture wants us to segment our deep creativity into tiny chunks of productivity: 

🕟 Get up at 4:30 and meditate!
🕔 Then gratitude journal!
🕠 Then get on the treadmill!
🕕 Then get your creative work done before anyone else wakes up!

The only problem with this is that we’re human beings…not robots. 

In this episode of BEWILDERED®, Episode 57: The Deep, Slow River of Creativity, Martha and Ro explore a seasonal approach that’s more aligned with our wild human nature.

As Martha puts it, “If you're going to do something long term, it has to be something you care about enough to see it through the winter, to let it go fallow.” 

And as Ro points out, when we’re in a fallow period, “we're mending our nets, we’re repairing things, we're doing things inside in front of the fire—we're replenishing ourselves.” 

To hear more about how you can learn to trust the seasonal flow of creativity in your own life, don’t miss the full conversation!

You can listen to Episode 57: The Deep, Slow River of Creativity, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@bewilderedpodcast
@themarthabeck
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #vanlife #creative #creativity #bewildfiles #author #authorlife #creativewriting #parentproblems #flow #creativeflow #audrelorde
Are you struggling to focus on a big creative proj Are you struggling to focus on a big creative project amidst a sea of distractions?

Don’t worry, says the culture, you can get it all done if you just have the moxie!

Whether or not you have this so-called moxie is beside the point. As Ro says, only some tasks we need to do are finite and easily checked off our list, while other things are part of what Martha calls the deep, slow river of creativity—a force that can move mountains.

In this episode of BEWILDERED®, Episode 57: The Deep, Slow River of Creativity, Martha and Ro talk about how we can make the commitment to stay connected to this river, even when life interferes (because it always will interfere), and stake our claim to a creative life.

Don’t miss it!

You can listen to Episode 57: The Deep, Slow River of Creativity, access the show notes, and find links to resources on our website at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@bewilderedpodcast 
@themarthabeck 
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #vanlife #creative #creativity #bewildfiles #author #authorlife #creativewriting #parentproblems #flow #creativeflow #audrelorde
Every once in a while the stars align and the thre Every once in a while the stars align and the three of us manage to get dinner together in New York. Always the same restaurant. Always the same table.

These nights of laughter and storytelling are like colorful beads I’ve been collecting—a series of perfect evenings strung between years, the breadth of a continent, a pandemic, the birth of children. But we keep coming back, and it’s always just as precious as it was tonight.

Thank you, Maria: you’re such a glowing jewel in our lives. Next stop Croatia! 

@mariashriver @themarthabeck
Goodbye, sweet goof. 💔 Goodbye, sweet goof. 💔
Have you ever tried telling the story of your life Have you ever tried telling the story of your life backwards?

For example, Martha was raised Mormon but then left that faith, and that made her a radical out-of-culture maverick. But describing that in reverse—Martha was meant to be a radical out-of-culture maverick, so she was born Mormon.

It’s interesting to look back from the moment you're in now and see if the seeds of what you love were planted long ago in ways you didn't understand at the time. 

In this episode of Bewildered®, Martha and Ro talk about these seeds as being part of the strange and delicious phenomenon they call “the pull.”

Listen to the full conversation to find out how you can recognize this mysterious force and follow it to create magical shifts in your life.

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@themarthabeck 
@bewilderedpodcast 
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#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts #themarthabeck #trackinglife #thepull #metaphysical #beginnersmind #dreams #vanlife

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