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Rowan Mangan

Author. Explorer. #Looking for America.

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Pandemic babies, lockdown life

16 August 2021 1 Comment

In some new parent spaces I visit online, I often hear some version of “OH NO! My pandemic baby has had an unnatural life in lockdown! He’s going to be socially stunted!”

It’s easy to get hooked by big fears like this, especially when you’re new to the parenting gig. So I spent some time thinking about it. I thought about how my own anxiety has been at an all-time low since the lockdown that began early in my pregnancy.

I thought about all the daily stresses that Lila has never experienced: the inevitable fraying of nerves that comes with tight schedules, with rushing in and out of the house, with the clashing of human energies that accompanies a life steeped in society.

And I thought about this cultural idea that we have to be exposed to discomfort so that we’re better at tolerating discomfort. Which, when you come right down to it, is a pretty whack idea.

I spent decades pushing myself into highly stimulating environments, believing that it was somehow “correct human behavior.” I thought that my hatred of it reflected poorly on my ability to be human—rather than exposing some core incompatibility.

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE the human world. Like the saying goes, it’s a great place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there. The past 18 months has given me my first-ever taste of the complete opt-out. And I found it tasty indeed.

The pandemic has delivered its own heartbreaks to our household, of course, and I don’t want to romanticize this crisis. Lockdown itself is a lonely and desperate experience for many. But the fact is that it’s brought a sweet layer of peace into our home.

Over these months and months, the five of us have knitted our individual energies into a delicate lacework that lets us move among each other with harmony. It decorates our rituals and the maps of our days, together and apart.

A year of peace. Such an elusive experience in a 21st century life. And for Lila, I can only feel that if it stunts her development in some way, maybe that’s not a necessary development. We can teach her noise and movement later. For now I’m happy teaching her the gentle language of shifting afternoon sunlight.

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  1. Elizabeth Thompson says

    22 September 2021 at 9:26 pm

    Beautiful! I’m so glad that your gorgeous Forest Elf has been born into this peace that you’ve created together.

    Reply

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YESTERDAY I BOUGHT PLANTS Now, seven new green co YESTERDAY I BOUGHT PLANTS

Now, seven new green companions are living in our city mouse house and I’m finally perfectly in love with the space. We’ve been moving into this apartment in slow motion since the beginning of the year, trekking back and forth from our country mouse house in Pennsylvania with suitcases. 

Here’s the thing: Without plants, a room has too many right angles. Without plants, I feel less human. These plants give meaning to the skyscrapers out the window. They are the rule that proves the city’s exception. They are my friends. 

Suddenly, this is a space where I can write.

Writers: what do you need in a space before you can go deep?
UNDOING THE DAY-CRAM A couple of days ago, I was UNDOING THE DAY-CRAM

A couple of days ago, I was reflecting on the need to build some more exercise into my week. Nothing extreme: just get this creaky old body moving around a bit.

This realization led to me pulling out my calendar to see when said exercise could happen. Everything must be scheduled—which is its own form of disempowerment—but that’s another rant for another day.

The point of THIS rant is the thought process which began unrolling in my mind as I looked at the neat rows of rectangles that represent hours in my days.

Immediately, I looked for things I was already planning to do, and began assessing which of these could be combined with exercise. Could I make that call while on the elliptical without my colleague thinking I was a heavy-breathing prank caller? Could I listen to that recording on the rower? Would it be weird if I showed up to that Zoom meeting on a treadmill?

It never occurred to me to look for time slots that weren’t already full and put exercise in there as an activity to be fully present for. Part of that is that there are very few such slots in my days. But another part of it is this insidious cultural pattern that says, “Optimize!” “Streamline!” “Synergize!”

So my wild inventure for this week is to stop the day-cram. To allow myself to follow my own instincts about what my body and heart and mind and soul need. To bring music back into my days and banish the ravenous productivity monster from my mind—at least for a week.

Who’s with me? Where in your life is this spacious inventure most needed?

** This is an excerpt of a longer essay that will be sent out to all my lovely Substack subscribers (along with lots of other goodies) next Tuesday. Subscribe via the link in my bio and join the wonderful Wild Inventures community. **
Morning Self and the Storyteller I edge into the Morning Self and the Storyteller

I edge into the beginning of my days very carefully, like someone in a movie trying to demonstrate calm in a hostage situation. Look, I’m putting my gun down here. Look, you can see my hands. I’m moving slowly. I’m talking softly. See? Eeeeverything’s okay, buddy. We’re all friends here.

Because I’m an anxious insomniac, mornings have always been tricky for me. First thing in the morning I’m like a baby animal: whimpering, puffy and afraid.

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See, Morning Self has to be carefully managed. Especially because she has a very important job.

To be continued… 👇

~Have you subscribed to my Substack newsletter, Wild Inventures? I’ll be sending out the rest of this essay to all free subscribers later in the week. Link in bio ~
Mess in our home environment can add to the inform Mess in our home environment can add to the information overload in our brain and often expresses a negative inner emotional state. But the mess inherent in nature doesn’t trigger the same negative feelings. On this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro delve into why that is and how we can all come to our senses about mess vs. order. Be sure to listen in!

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Back in edit world, loves. It’s SO GREAT to be hanging out on Goat Street again after a break. Y’know, I kind of like this book. It has its moments.
Mindfulness and meditation can help us tap into ou Mindfulness and meditation can help us tap into our true nature, but culture will still try to get in there and activate our anxiety. Rowan talks about an app that made meditation a competitive sport, and Martha shares the story of how her car decided that fifteen minutes of reflective silence was fifteen minutes too much. This episode of Bewildered is all about anxiety, and it’s full of aha moments (plus plenty of lolz) so be sure to listen in!

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Small person, big world This little City Mouse wa Small person, big world

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I'll be posting weekly personal reflections, as well as audio natterings and some behind the scenes fun from my wacky household. You can also get more personal writing and more community options with a paid subscription (for the price of a couple of coffees a month!). 

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