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Rowan Mangan

Writer. Mom. Wild Inventurer.

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Pandemic babies, lockdown life

August 16, 2021 1 Comment

In some new parent spaces I visit online, I often hear some version of “OH NO! My pandemic baby has had an unnatural life in lockdown! He’s going to be socially stunted!”

It’s easy to get hooked by big fears like this, especially when you’re new to the parenting gig. So I spent some time thinking about it. I thought about how my own anxiety has been at an all-time low since the lockdown that began early in my pregnancy.

I thought about all the daily stresses that Lila has never experienced: the inevitable fraying of nerves that comes with tight schedules, with rushing in and out of the house, with the clashing of human energies that accompanies a life steeped in society.

And I thought about this cultural idea that we have to be exposed to discomfort so that we’re better at tolerating discomfort. Which, when you come right down to it, is a pretty whack idea.

I spent decades pushing myself into highly stimulating environments, believing that it was somehow “correct human behavior.” I thought that my hatred of it reflected poorly on my ability to be human—rather than exposing some core incompatibility.

Don’t get me wrong: I LOVE the human world. Like the saying goes, it’s a great place to visit but you wouldn’t want to live there. The past 18 months has given me my first-ever taste of the complete opt-out. And I found it tasty indeed.

The pandemic has delivered its own heartbreaks to our household, of course, and I don’t want to romanticize this crisis. Lockdown itself is a lonely and desperate experience for many. But the fact is that it’s brought a sweet layer of peace into our home.

Over these months and months, the five of us have knitted our individual energies into a delicate lacework that lets us move among each other with harmony. It decorates our rituals and the maps of our days, together and apart.

A year of peace. Such an elusive experience in a 21st century life. And for Lila, I can only feel that if it stunts her development in some way, maybe that’s not a necessary development. We can teach her noise and movement later. For now I’m happy teaching her the gentle language of shifting afternoon sunlight.

This article originally appeared on Rowan’s Wild Inventures substack newsletter. To subscribe and get all Rowan’s posts in your inbox, head over to Wild Inventures on substack now. 

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  1. Elizabeth Thompson says

    September 22, 2021 at 9:26 pm

    Beautiful! I’m so glad that your gorgeous Forest Elf has been born into this peace that you’ve created together.

    Reply

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"The cultural imperative to adhere to certain soci "The cultural imperative to adhere to certain social rules is extremely strong. And when we don’t adhere to those rules, whether accidentally or not, we can experience what Brené Brown calls a “vulnerability hangover”—the feeling that we’ve exposed more than the culture allows.

And speaking of vulnerable exposure, Martha shares a hilarious story involving nakedness at the spa—entirely accidental!—that led to a 25-minute conversation where everyone pretended it hadn’t happened. Culture again, folks. It’s powerful.

In this special BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan take a deep dive into the subject of vulnerability hangovers—and the hangover cures that work wonders for them. Be sure to listen! (Towels optional.)"

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@bewilderedpodcast 
@themarthabeck 

#bewildered #bewilderedpodcast #podcast #podcastersofinstagram #wayfinder #wayfinderlifecoach #rowanmangan #marthabeck #naturenotculture #funny #funnypodcast #funnypodcasts
I wrote myself some rules to help me get to the wa I wrote myself some rules to help me get to the warm and scrumptious glow of HAVING WRITTEN. 

But one size doesn’t fit all days or all folks or just the infinite and ever-loving LIFEYNESS of it all. My rules reflect the ways lifeyness shows up for me. You might need to make your own. 

You can read and subscribe to my Substack newsletter at the link in my bio.
Instagram post 17977439803922640 Instagram post 17977439803922640
"Do you find that you enjoy setting goals but have "Do you find that you enjoy setting goals but have a harder time achieving them? 

It turns out that lurching, rather than sailing smoothly, toward goals is how it works for most of us, and in this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro are talking all about it!

Ro recently saw a specialist for a painful shoulder, and along with a list of exercises he wanted her to do, he gave her a perfect commentary on how hard it is to move everyday toward a goal:

“You're in a lot of pain, so you're going to do the exercises. The exercises are going to work, and the pain will go away. You will stop doing the exercises because there's no pain. Then the pain will come back, and you'll start doing the exercises again.”

Moving toward your goals, Martha says, is like driving a wombat or a snake or some other animal you can't easily control. Stopping and starting, again and again, may feel awkward, but it does get us where we want to go.

Don’t miss the full episode to learn how to set goals that resonate with your whole self and stop-and-start your way toward them with joy.

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New Substack newsletter this week. This one’s ab New Substack newsletter this week. This one’s about the idea of finding our stories inside of our stories. Or something like that. Plus, aren’t slow cookers amazing? Link in my bio.
SPOTIFY AND THE BEWILDERED PODCAST 🛠️ We've SPOTIFY AND THE BEWILDERED PODCAST 

🛠️ We've been busy making some behind-the-scenes tweaks and updates to improve Bewildered.

🫣 Unfortunately for our listeners on Spotify, there was a little unexpected disruption. Oops!

🧑‍🔧Bewildered (and The Gathering Pod) are both back on Spotify, but you may need to resubscribe to the individual podcasts in the app.

🔍If you’re having trouble finding Bewildered, either use the search function in Spotify or use the "Listen in your favorite podcast app" link in our bio to find the direct link. 

💗 We love and appreciate all of our listeners. Each of you is astonishingly intelligent, exceptionally good-looking and with excellent taste. Thanks for all your support, possums! 😘😘😘
New Substack newsletter (finally!) out today—Inv New Substack newsletter (finally!) out today—Inventures in Inconsistency, a topic I feel very qualified to talk about. Hope you like it! Link in bio. x
"It’s The Procrastination Episode of Bewildered, "It’s The Procrastination Episode of Bewildered, which Martha and Ro almost named something else not quite safe for work…but they thought they’d get too many letters—“and not the good kind!”

Procrastination can be an extremely frustrating experience, but when Martha and Ro throw in a little sexual innuendo, it’s hard not to laugh along with them. 

For a lot of humor but also some seriously effective tools you can use to find your way out of procrastination, you won’t want to miss the full episode. (Just maybe don’t do it in public.)"

You can listen to the full episode on our website, link in the bio, or on your favorite podcast app.

@themarthabeck 
@bewilderedpodcast 
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#bewildered #podcastinglifestyle #funnypodcasts #selfhelppodcast #spiritualpodcast #podcastshows #podcastoftheday #podcasterlife #funnypodcast #podcastersofig #podcastingtips #podcastofinstagram #podcastrecommendation #podcastlifestyle #newpodcastepisode #womenwhopodcast #instapodcast #newpodcastalert #podcastseries #podcastepisode #podcastcommunity #podcastmovement #podcastsofinstagram #podcastaddict #podcastinglife #writerofinstagram #podcasthost #newpodcast #podcastersofinstagram
People talk about “shower thoughts” as those b People talk about “shower thoughts” as those bolts of inspiration that hit us when we’re bathing.

I have hippopotamus thoughts. Every night I perch on a little blue hippo stool while Lila is in the bath. Whatever the zen space is that bathrooms provide, it finds me then. 

Squatting on my cheerful steed amid the splashing and chattering of bath time, I’ve resolved plot holes, created characters, adapted recipes, devised new scenes—all while singing along with the alphabet song or voicing a rubber duck on a wacky adventure. 

When you find a creative vortex in your home, friends, use it. In my experience, the insights are worth the indignities and the creative mileage outdistances the pressure on the knees. 

#writerswithkids #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #writinglife #thewritinglife #keepingitreal #bathroomtruthbombs
Oh joy. I went on a pilgrimage on this rainy New Y Oh joy. I went on a pilgrimage on this rainy New York day to indulge my latest obsession… @misterosman’s new #thursdaymurderclub novel. (And this one’s signed!) 

If you haven’t yet discovered these books, they are a gorgeous treat: brilliantly plotted mysteries full of heart and laughs and unforgettable characters. They’ve made me reaffirm two core beliefs: human beings are mostly good, and solving murders is a delightful hobby. 

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Signs that you live with a toddler #634 Signs that you live with a toddler #634
Wherein Ro—in her first ever IG Live!—reveals Wherein Ro—in her first ever IG Live!—reveals her mission as an almost-American: BRING BACK FORTNIGHT.
May we all stride forth through our inner and oute May we all stride forth through our inner and outer landscapes with this much verve and bawdy grace. 

I love this kid so hard. 

(Thanks @carmenschreffler for the pic! And for being a magical fairy godmother ✨🪄)
Have you ever used language to speak in code to so Have you ever used language to speak in code to someone? From spelling things out, to speaking Chinese to using pop culture references, there are multiple secret languages going in Martha and Ro’s household. In this episode of Bewildered, they explore the way language is embedded in the culture and how we can free language from culture and wield it creatively to express our true nature. If you are fascinated by languages and self-expression, this thought-provoking episode is for you!

You can listen to the full episode on our website, link in the bio, or on your favorite podcast app.

@themarthabeck 
@bewilderedpodcast 
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#bewildered #podcastinglifestyle #funnypodcasts #selfhelppodcast #spiritualpodcast #podcastshows #podcastoftheday #podcasterlife #funnypodcast #podcastersofig #podcastingtips #podcastofinstagram #podcastrecommendation #podcastlifestyle #newpodcastepisode #womenwhopodcast #instapodcast #newpodcastalert #podcastseries #podcastepisode #podcastcommunity #podcastmovement #podcastsofinstagram #podcastaddict #podcastinglife #writerofinstagram #podcasthost #newpodcast #podcastersofinstagram
Because it’s all transitory. And perfect. #fal Because it’s all transitory. And perfect. 

#fall #autumn #georgeeliot #georgeeliotquote #frommywindow #forestbathing
We have some exciting new episodes of @bewilderedp We have some exciting new episodes of @bewilderedpodcast coming up!

Do you have something you’re trying to figure out? Something where the forces of culture seem to be an obstacle to your true nature? Follow the link in my bio to leave a voice message for @themarthabeck and me… and maybe appear in a future episode! Love and snuggles x

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