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Rowan Mangan

Writer. Mom. Wild Inventurer.

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How to talk to Ro and Marty on Bewildered

December 2, 2021 8 Comments

Hi folks! We have a new kind of Bewildered episode, called “The BeWild Files,” which will feature listeners’ voices and our responses. YAY!

Please find instructions below for sending a voice message to the Bewildered podcast. We love hearing from you, and while not every submission can make it onto the BeWild File episodes, we do try and listen to as many of them as we can.

How to talk to us? Read on!

(But first, a little tip about the kind of content that will be played. Keep the tone light, make the conundrum real and relatable, and extra points for absurdity and a quirky look at this bewildering world.)

Please check these instructions carefully, as we can’t use any messages that don’t adhere to these guidelines.

1. Using the Voice Memo (or equivalent) app on your phone, record a brief (45 seconds or less) message. At the beginning of your message, please say that we have your permission to use your voice on the podcast.

2. How do I do that? If you have an iPhone, there should be an app on your phone called Voice Memo. If you don’t, try Googling “How to record a voice memo on my [PHONE NAME] phone.”

3. When you have your message recorded, check that you’ve stated your permission at the beginning, you’ve checked that it’s less than 45 seconds, and you’ve saved it.

4. Email the voice file to our email address: BEWILDEREDTHEPODCAST@MARTHABECK.COM (note that there’s a “the” between “bewildered” and “podcast.”) You will receive an autoreply if your submission is received. If you don’t, double check the email address.

5. How do I email it? Google is your friend.

We can’t wait to hear from you!

This article originally appeared on Rowan’s Wild Inventures substack newsletter. To subscribe and get all Rowan’s posts in your inbox, head over to Wild Inventures on substack now. 

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Filed Under: Work inventures Tagged With: bewildered podcast

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Comments

  1. Susan Dean says

    December 27, 2021 at 8:22 pm

    Dear Rowan and Marty, WOW! What an absolutely wonderful podcast you’ve created!! I’m bingeing and loving every moment. It’s a pure delight to hear smart and funny women. Thank you, thank you!
    Best, Susan Dean

    Reply
  2. Adriann says

    February 10, 2022 at 6:05 pm

    Hi guys! (yep, I use that all the time too)

    Firstly, thank you for the wonderful job that you do in creating this podcast.
    I just listened to ‘The Productivity Addict’ and holy cow did you nail some fortuitous topics – not to mention give me a wonderful slice of time that was filled with out loud laughter (perhaps strange behavior in an office setting, but extremely welcome to me!) – thank you 🙂

    Second thing to address… Martha, I too have the tsunamis of shame that will rear up out of nowhere and smack me. WTF is up with that?!? However, lately it seems that my thinking monkey brain is being even more sadistic and giving me flashes of intensely crystal clear moments of grief – so intense in my body that they create immediate tears and wrenching hollowness in my gut. My observer self can see what is happening, but my animal self still reacts. I (observer self) wonder why my brain is doing this, and why is it doing it at moments that I am trying to reach states of deep calm? It’s like a toddler screaming ‘LOOK AT ME!!’ It is also all the more powerful because it sneaks up on me in moments of stillness and sucker punches me. I honestly had the thought to call and leave a message for BeWildered asking about this all this week! I am still interested in the dynamics of what is happening here and I think it needs more investigation.

    And now to move on to PERFECTIONISM… oh that sneaky bastard. I think that I am more of the Rowan type when it comes to this (though if I actually DO put something out there the gremlins definitely start in on the ‘people be judge-y’ side of things). When I have ideas for projects I will plan them to death instead of starting them/editing them/etc. I am a MASTER of detailed lists, diagrams, and sketches of how I want to execute something. I also get caught in the continuous fiddling with things to prolong being ‘done’ with them. I read a really good quote (but I can’t remember what book or person) that said something like ‘art never gets finished, you just get to a point and have to release it’ or ‘let it go’ – or something like that (I wonder if it was the ‘ship it’ guy). That was so spot on. Release the hounds!

    I have a few projects that need my attention and I have been shying away from them because of those nasty thoughts that perfectionism puts in your head (not good enough, there is such a glut in the market how can you even DREAM of putting your work out there, ad nauseam). But, your comments on not releasing something as a kind of selfishness, and what good is something going to do living in a drawer – that struck a cord with me.

    I have an UNDERPAINTING (yes, Marty you had me rolling with that story) that I have extremely high hopes of and doubts of being able to duplicate what is in my head.
    AND I have a book that I wrote and have been trying to figure out next steps (and floundering horribly with). The ‘getting it out there’ is uncharted territory to me. I have also had some out of the box thinking on this project as well (see ‘glut in the market’ to stall enthusiasm). It’s just the DOING that has me stymied. I WANT to share and connect with people – I REALLY DO! The comment about the ‘worst thing in your life/cave/giving others a way to navigate it’ made me tear up.

    EVERYTHING that the two of you talked about in this podcast spoke so deeply to my truth (and I have been living out of integrity for soooooo long). I know it’s a bit woowoo but your conversation was so specific and dovetailed a little too neatly with things that I need to work on. Now I just have to find the energy and faith to DO and figure out the HOWs.

    Thank you both for the amazing work that you do, the wisdom you share, and the bright spots in my day that you create 🙂

    Reply
  3. leslie says

    April 11, 2022 at 5:49 pm

    Your podcast is keeping me sane. Every one is a gem that soothes my soul.
    I’m trying to figure out how to study what I need to know and how to know what I need to study. My husband is dying of a strange cognitive disorder that has caused dementia. I’m afraid it’s genetic and has been increasing slowly for a long, long, time – maybe the entire 25 years I’ve known him. He has three kids, two of whom are ours together. I can’t stand to see their dear personalities disappear into this long deep well of sad incapacity, so I want to do the genetic & neurological research to really make a difference. CRISPR-cas technology can repair genetic defects. I want to make a real intellectual contribution to the effort. But, at 55, being low-income with a sick husband, Idon’t have the time, money, or perhaps even the brain power to get a doctorate in biochemistry & do post doc research. How do I get to that level though? I don’t want to do fundraisers and awareness work and leave research to the experts. I have a burning desire to be the expert. I want to do it non-traditionally. But how??? I don’t care about credentials so much. What I care about is real knowledge.

    Reply
    • Emily Keane says

      February 28, 2023 at 12:33 am

      Just take one little step . See if you can enroll at a community college or local university and take a preliminary class to taste it out. Don’t look how long it will take or if you cannot afford it (the money will come if this is your passion and it sounds like it is ☺️). One little small step at a time and you might just see the magic unfold .

      Reply
  4. Betsy Ewen says

    April 20, 2022 at 8:31 pm

    I just have to share- I just finished your bewilderment podcast about anxiety (I laughed out load several times, you guys are worth your weight in gold)
    The subject was right on target- I too have a great life, yet still have anxiety.
    I want to share 2 examples of my coping that you guys touched on.
    1. everything is new, the past is lost: When I have anxiety I can’t talk down I simply say ” oh, we’ve already processed that, or oh, we already healed that”. I don’t even have to know why I’m anxious and this will work.
    2. I love to watch golf while quilting. For some reason the voices calm me. Anyway, when a cheer goes up, I pretend it’s for me- works like a charm!

    Reply
  5. Lamb Bennett says

    September 8, 2022 at 10:38 am

    Bewildered podcast is a healthy, wholesome meal to be consumed daily.

    Reply
  6. Brenda says

    September 12, 2022 at 11:00 pm

    Cave early is so fantastic thank you for doing the podcast so helpful

    Reply
  7. May says

    February 6, 2023 at 7:05 pm

    I love you, I do. Perish the thought that little me should offer a correction but I have to. On the productivity podcast, when you reference Schindler’s List, Oscar Schindler is not in regret in the way you are describing, it isn’t that he can’t appreciate the greatness of what he’s done because he can’t stop and accept the gratitude. It is regret over the careless expenditure of money for things like cigarettes, jewelry and excess at the beginning of the war when he was enjoying his lavish lifestyle instead of how every penny could have bought another jewish life. He is realizing the gravity of those foolish acts now in their full strength. Still love you and listen to every wise word!

    Reply

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Doing dangerous things carefully is how children—and all of us—learn anything important. By the same token, Martha says, we grow emotionally when we do painful things with courage and integrity. 

In this BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro talk about how to navigate the difficult yet necessary situations life throws our way.

Accepting that it’s not going to be easy helps you stay in your integrity, so you can work through your feelings and get to a place of peace. 

To learn more, tune in for the full conversation!

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

@bewilderedpodcast 
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So this arrived today. And it is a VIBE. 🇺🇸 So this arrived today. And it is a VIBE. 🇺🇸

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This week’s Wild Inventures letter is an embarra This week’s Wild Inventures letter is an embarrassing confession. It talks about the HUGE difference between what I want my creative process to look like with my writing… and the sad, nerdy truth of it. 

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I did a little time travel recently, thanks to my I did a little time travel recently, thanks to my ride or die music hero @anidifranco.

It was quite trippy to revisit “the early years” of my adulthood—a rush of joy and also a confronting sense of the confusion and chaos of that time. 

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Martha and Ro are back with another episode of Bew Martha and Ro are back with another episode of Bewildered, and this time Martha has the audacity—the audacity!—to assume that Rowan does not have everything all figured out. It’s an outrage! 😂

This episode is all about emotional energy—what it is and why our culture makes it so hard for us to understand it. 

For Martha and Ro’s insights on how to recognize and interpret this kind of energy (plus more than a few laughs along the way) you won’t want to miss the full episode. 

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

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"This special BeWild Files episode of Bewildered i "This special BeWild Files episode of Bewildered is all about what Brené Brown calls “vulnerability hangovers”—what they are and how we can get over them.

A vulnerability hangover refers to the shame we often feel after sharing our authentic selves—usually when what we’ve shared defies the culture’s expectations, whether intentionally or unintentionally. 

As Rowan explains, there's being in the culture, there’s reacting to the culture, and there's being independent of the culture, which is what we are when we stand up as our wild true selves. Vulnerability hangovers are simply part of that experience.

In this episode Martha and Ro share their personal vulnerability hangover stories and the “culture work” that has helped them feel better, so be sure to tune in for the full conversation!"

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This week’s Wild Inventures letter is all about This week’s Wild Inventures letter is all about the collective “now” of the era we’re all alive in. 

Have a read and subscribe for free at the link in my bio!
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"The cultural imperative to adhere to certain soci "The cultural imperative to adhere to certain social rules is extremely strong. And when we don’t adhere to those rules, whether accidentally or not, we can experience what Brené Brown calls a “vulnerability hangover”—the feeling that we’ve exposed more than the culture allows.

And speaking of vulnerable exposure, Martha shares a hilarious story involving nakedness at the spa—entirely accidental!—that led to a 25-minute conversation where everyone pretended it hadn’t happened. Culture again, folks. It’s powerful.

In this special BeWild Files episode of Bewildered, Martha and Rowan take a deep dive into the subject of vulnerability hangovers—and the hangover cures that work wonders for them. Be sure to listen! (Towels optional.)"

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app.

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I wrote myself some rules to help me get to the wa I wrote myself some rules to help me get to the warm and scrumptious glow of HAVING WRITTEN. 

But one size doesn’t fit all days or all folks or just the infinite and ever-loving LIFEYNESS of it all. My rules reflect the ways lifeyness shows up for me. You might need to make your own. 

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"Do you find that you enjoy setting goals but have "Do you find that you enjoy setting goals but have a harder time achieving them? 

It turns out that lurching, rather than sailing smoothly, toward goals is how it works for most of us, and in this episode of Bewildered, Martha and Ro are talking all about it!

Ro recently saw a specialist for a painful shoulder, and along with a list of exercises he wanted her to do, he gave her a perfect commentary on how hard it is to move everyday toward a goal:

“You're in a lot of pain, so you're going to do the exercises. The exercises are going to work, and the pain will go away. You will stop doing the exercises because there's no pain. Then the pain will come back, and you'll start doing the exercises again.”

Moving toward your goals, Martha says, is like driving a wombat or a snake or some other animal you can't easily control. Stopping and starting, again and again, may feel awkward, but it does get us where we want to go.

Don’t miss the full episode to learn how to set goals that resonate with your whole self and stop-and-start your way toward them with joy.

Listen at the link in our bio—or on your favorite podcasting app."

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SPOTIFY AND THE BEWILDERED PODCAST 🛠️ We've SPOTIFY AND THE BEWILDERED PODCAST 

🛠️ We've been busy making some behind-the-scenes tweaks and updates to improve Bewildered.

🫣 Unfortunately for our listeners on Spotify, there was a little unexpected disruption. Oops!

🧑‍🔧Bewildered (and The Gathering Pod) are both back on Spotify, but you may need to resubscribe to the individual podcasts in the app.

🔍If you’re having trouble finding Bewildered, either use the search function in Spotify or use the "Listen in your favorite podcast app" link in our bio to find the direct link. 

💗 We love and appreciate all of our listeners. Each of you is astonishingly intelligent, exceptionally good-looking and with excellent taste. Thanks for all your support, possums! 😘😘😘
New Substack newsletter (finally!) out today—Inv New Substack newsletter (finally!) out today—Inventures in Inconsistency, a topic I feel very qualified to talk about. Hope you like it! Link in bio. x
"It’s The Procrastination Episode of Bewildered, "It’s The Procrastination Episode of Bewildered, which Martha and Ro almost named something else not quite safe for work…but they thought they’d get too many letters—“and not the good kind!”

Procrastination can be an extremely frustrating experience, but when Martha and Ro throw in a little sexual innuendo, it’s hard not to laugh along with them. 

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